I Have Something to Tell You (a Trio Bagatelles Outtake)

28 May

One: I have something to tell you.

Two: Me?

Three: Me?

One: Both of you.

Two & Three: What is it?

One: It’s very difficult.  I don’t quite know how to say it.

Two: Just say it. 

Three:  Yes.  No need to beat around the bush.

One: I just can’t find the words.

Two: Is it about us?

One: Well, since you mentioned it…

Three: Do we have bad breath or something?

One: No, your breath is perfectly fine.  I mean, no worse than most people.  I’ve smelled better breath, but that’s to be expected.  Not everybody can have exemplary breath.

Two & Three: So it is our breath.

One: No, that wasn’t it.  I really had no intention of bringing up your bad breath.  Disgusting as it is, I’ve managed to overlook it all this time.

Three: So what is it then, our moral fiber?

One: No, it’s not that.  It really has nothing to do with your moral fiber.  Everybody has their faults.  Nobody’s perfect.

Two: So you consider us immoral?

One: Well, it’s really nothing.  Don’t let it worry you. Your moral failings are hardly unique. Anyway, I think amoral would be the more precise term.

Three: So, you’re telling us we’re a couple of sociopaths with halitosis?

One: That wasn’t my intention.  Everybody has their faults.  I’m sure there are many worse, and worse smelling, people.  I really had something else on my mind.

Two:  Can it get any worse?  You’ve already told us, in so many words, that we’re a pair of amoral monsters with gutter breath.

One: You’re right.  Now that we’ve got that out in the open the other thing hardly seems worth mentioning.  Forget I said anything.


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